


If I Had Nine Lives, I'd Spend Them All With You

by casualhibiscus



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dimension Travel, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gen, Humor, Lots of Cat Jokes, M/M, Magic, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-07 06:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13428645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualhibiscus/pseuds/casualhibiscus
Summary: Kabuto just nodded, still unable to quite process what had happened. One minute he had taken an adorable pet home to live with him, and the next there was a shirtless man from another dimension eating seafood in his living room.





	1. Despite All My Rage, I Am Still Just a Cat in a Cage

**Author's Note:**

> This is a modern-day AU I've been playing around with for some time. The characters are admittedly a little OOC, but much like in the way they are in Rock Lee and His Ninja Pals. The story will include eventual smut and romance, which is why I've given it a mature rating. (The first couple of chapters are probably only PG-13, though, and I'll be sure to mark when that changes.)
> 
> The main pairing will (eventually) be Orochimaru x Kabuto, but there will be several other pairings which appear in later chapters.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments! And thank you so much for reading. :3

Kabuto was just finishing up for the day when the receptionist came to see him.

“Dr. Yakushi?” she asked, poking her head into the exam room.

“Yes, Karin?” he replied without looking up.

“The Inuzuka family left a message. They said that one of their dogs is expecting puppies, and they asked if you could monitor the pregnancy.”

Kabuto rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised that they even left a message. I thought for sure that they’d taken to just showing up, what with the way that boy stormed in here last week.”

“Well… You _do_ accept walk-ins, sir.”

“Yes, for emergencies! I don’t expect to replace the hinges on my door every time Akamaru has a new trick to show off.”

“I thought the boy’s name was Kiba?”

“Maybe.” Kabuto shrugged. “The dog’s name is Akamaru.”

Karin had to stifle a small laugh. Of course Dr. Yakushi would remember his “patients” better than their owners.

“Will that be all, then?” the veterinarian asked, sifting through a stack of lab reports.

Karin nodded, until she realized Kabuto wouldn’t be looking up from his work any time soon. “Yes, Doctor.”

“All right Karin, thank you for your help today.”

As she turned to leave, he called out as an afterthought, “Remind Suigetsu that he’s on kennel duty tonight!”

That matter taken care of, the doctor neatly stacked his paperwork together and glanced down at the animal in front of him.

It had been a few months since Kabuto had rescued the black, long-haired cat from a rainstorm. The poor thing had been hit by a car and was in desperate need of medical attention. As the top veterinarian in the tri-county area, Kabuto had made sure that the animal received all the help it needed.

Some would say that the man had a bleeding heart when it came to animals, but Kabuto didn’t mind. He had always felt more of a connection with them than with people, anyway.

The injured cat’s health had improved rapidly with proper care, and Kabuto found that he’d grown fond of the small creature. He’d even gone so far as to call him “Orochimaru,” after the white markings in his fur which snaked down from the corners of his eyes. The animal was quite majestic-looking once he’d been cleaned up, and given his elegant appearance, Kabuto was surprised to learn that he didn’t have a microchip.

But since no one had come forth to claim him - even with the assistance of local shelters - Kabuto had decided to adopt the cat himself.

“Well, Orochimaru, you’ve got a clean bill of health. It looks like you’ll be coming home with me!” he announced, scratching the cat under the chin affectionately.  


Orochimaru purred in response, his bushy tail thumping happily against the countertop.

He acclimated quickly to his new home that night, sniffing around the house in a typically curious fashion. Kabuto had expected his pet to be a bit more withdrawn, though, and was pleasantly surprised to see the cat curl up with him at the end of the night.

“I’m glad you’re here, Orochimaru,” Kabuto said drowsily, as he drifted off to sleep. “It’ll be nice to have a roommate.”

_oOo_

Sunlight was beginning to pour through the blinds when Kabuto woke the next morning. Groggily, he reached for his glasses and put them on in an attempt to read the clock on his bedside table. _Is it 9:00 already? Wow, I really slept in. At least I don’t have to be at the clinic until noon today..._

Thinking of said veterinary clinic, Kabuto rolled over to see if his feline companion was still in bed with him.

He wasn’t - but a naked man was.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

It took Kabuto a second to process the sight before him, and approximately two seconds more to jump out of bed and grab the baseball bat by his nightstand.

_“WHAT THE FUCK?!”_ he shrieked, poised to bash the stranger’s head in if he came any closer.

The man just yawned lazily and stretched his arms above his head. “Now that’s no way to greet your roommate, is it?”

“Roommate?! I don’t have a-”

Kabuto paused when he realized that the strange man also had cat ears - and a functional pair at that, if the fact that they now twitched in annoyance was any indication.

“Well, that’s not what you said last night,” the man grumbled. “You said - and I quote! - ‘I’m glad that you’re here, Orochimaru. It’ll be nice to have a roommate.’”

Kabuto was baffled, both at the fact that there was some kind of cat-man in his bed, as well as having his own words parroted back to him.

“But I said that to my cat! How did you-”

It suddenly dawned on him that this man, with his long dark hair and markings beneath each eye, _was_ his cat.

“Oh. Oh my God…”

Orochimaru sighed and stood up from the bed, his long black tail swishing behind him.

“You can stand here and pray all you want, but I’m hungry and I’m going to raid your kitchen now,” he said, patting Kabuto’s shoulder lightly and exiting the bedroom.

After several minutes of pinching himself did nothing - and each time he looked down the hallway, there was _still_ a naked man in his kitchen - Kabuto relented that this wasn’t a dream.

“I’ve finally cracked,” he spoke incredulously, letting the bat hit the floor with a dull _thud._

“Okay, that’s great,” came the voice from his kitchen, “but can you help me get the tuna out of this container? It’s like it’s _sealed_ in here or something!”

“Can opener,” Kabuto replied absently. “Top drawer by the stove.”

A few moments of fumbling later and he heard Orochimaru curse loudly, presumably cutting himself on said appliance.

Kabuto left his bedroom in a daze. In a moment like this, he had to think about the practicals in order to stay grounded. “If you’re going to be in my kitchen, could you at least refrain from bleeding all over it? And possibly put on some pants?”

_oOo_

Some time later, Kabuto found himself sitting on the couch next to his “roommate” - the cat who was also a man - as the man in question ate from a now-opened can of tuna. The minor cut on his finger had been patched up, and Kabuto had finally convinced him to wear pants, after mentioning that he’d originally been scheduled for a neuter that afternoon.

“So… what should I call you?” Kabuto asked. There were thousands of questions racing through his mind, but this was the only one he was able to vocalize.

“Oh, you’ve already guessed correctly.”

“...‘Orochimaru’? That’s your real name?”

“Yup!” Orochimaru replied, licking excess tuna off of his fingers. Kabuto couldn’t help but notice the cat-like manner in which he did this, by holding his hand to his mouth with the palm facing outward. “Funny coincidence, that.”

_Ha. Ha._ Kabuto thought to himself in a hollow imitation of laughter.

“So, I take it none of the people in this world are part animal?” Orochimaru asked. “That would explain why you were so surprised to see me.”

“Yeah… I don’t know what ‘world’ you’re from, but there’s definitely no one like you here.”

“I’m one of a kind, then,” Orochimaru purred smugly, a satisfied glint in his golden eyes. “But,” he added thoughtfully, “I have no idea how I got here. I remember getting attacked by that, that...”

“Car?” Kabuto supplied helpfully.

“Car! Yes, that’s it. Awful things, those.” Orochimaru growled at the memory of his interaction with a motor vehicle, the fur on his ears and tail bristling. “Anyway, then you healed me, but I couldn’t change back to human form! I thought I might be stuck that way forever, but I was finally able to transform last night.”

Kabuto just nodded, still unable to quite process what had happened. One minute he had taken an adorable pet home to live with him, and the next there was a shirtless man from another dimension eating seafood in his living room.

“This one’s empty,” Orochimaru declared, setting the finished can of tuna down on the coffee table. He stared at it for a second before tilting his head slightly and deciding to bat it onto the floor.

“I’ll get you another one.” Kabuto was unsure whether to laugh or cry.

_oOo_

“I have to leave for work now, all right? I got someone to cover for me this evening, so I should be back in a few hours. There’s a plate of tuna sandwiches in the fridge. If you want anything else to eat, help yourself.”

“Anything?”

“Anything pre-prepared. Do **not** use the oven or the stove.”

Orochimaru had discovered earlier that by pawing around the various knobs and dials in the kitchen, he could set things on fire. Kabuto was fairly certain he’d come home to see his whole house ablaze.

“And remember, don’t let anyone see you!” he added, grabbing his jacket as he headed for the door.

Orochimaru pouted. “What’s the use of being in another world if I can’t explore it?”

Kabuto sighed heavily. “Just. Trust me on this one, okay? The people here wouldn’t understand. I promise, when I get back we’ll start figuring out how you got here, and how to get you home.”

“Fine,” Orochimaru huffed, throwing himself down on the couch. His sudden weight against the cushions caused a throw pillow to dislodge itself and land in front of him.

Despite the craziness of the situation, Kabuto found himself smiling as Orochimaru batted eagerly at one of the pillow’s tassels.

_I may have lost my mind,_ he thought, _but I have a good feeling about this._


	2. The Cat's Out of the Bag

“Thanks again for covering for me, Anko.”

“Eh, it’s no big deal,” the brunette veterinarian said, waving Kabuto off. “You’ll just owe me one. Coffee?” she added, offering up a tray of steaming to-go cups from a local shop. It was common knowledge around the office that Anko had a caffeine habit, with some taking bets on whether she ever slept or not.

Normally Kabuto would have declined the offer - given how much sugar Anko was prone to adding to her drinks - but for once he accepted.

“Thanks,” he said, carefully extracting a cup from the styrofoam. He was pretty sure he’d need the extra energy to deal with his “roommate” when he got home.

“So,” Anko said casually, as Kabuto took a sip, “You got a man waitin’ for you, huh?”

Kabuto promptly spat his coffee into a nearby sink, and quickly devolved into a coughing fit. He wasn’t sure which set him off first, his shock at Anko’s statement or the sheer amount of sugar he’d almost ingested.

“Oh come _on,”_ Anko said, completely unphased by her co-worker’s response. “I know you, you’re a workaholic. If you suddenly need ‘time off’ like this, it’s totally ‘cause you’ve got a date!”

He shook his head emphatically while attempting to regain his composure. “No, you’ve got it wrong. I, uh-” he cleared his throat roughly. “I’m still getting my cat settled.”

Anko rolled her eyes. “Sure, Kabuto. And I’m the Queen of England.”

“I mean it! There’s this… _issue_ with my cat, and, well-”

“It’s cool,” Anko cut in, patting the distraught man’s arm. “You just head on home. Whether there’s a cat waiting there for you, or a guy, who knows?” She gestured dramatically.

 _That’s an excellent question,_ Kabuto thought, as he packed his things and left for the day.

_oOo_

As it turned out, the answer was that he’d be returning to an empty house.

Once his momentary panic had subsided, Kabuto considered that things might actually be better off this way. Maybe it had all been a figment of his imagination, brought on by work-induced stress.

_Anko’s not wrong - I **do** spend all my time working. I suppose a small break every now and then wouldn’t hurt._

Still, there was a part of him that wanted it all to be real: multiple universes, humans that could shapeshift into animals… He smiled fondly, remembering the fantasy books he’d loved so much as a child. Wouldn’t it be amazing if those stories were true?

A scratching sound at the front door abruptly tore him from his thoughts. He turned to see a familiar face pressed against the glass, and couldn’t put a finger on the emotion that the sight brought him.

“I want back in now.” Orochimaru growled from the front porch.

 _Annoyance,_ Kabuto thought bitterly. _That emotion is definitely annoyance._

“I told you to stay inside!” he hissed, flinging the door open and glancing around to make sure no one was watching them.

Orochimaru shrugged. “I got bored.”

“You _what?!”_ Kabuto sputtered indignantly. “Just- just get back in here already!”

“Okay,” Orochimaru said casually, walking past him and into the house.

Kabuto shut the door with a resounding _slam!_ and immediately slid the locks into place.

“Wait!” Orochimaru exclaimed, “I think I want out again.” He pressed his face against the door, his tail twitching behind him. “No, I’m pretty sure I want to stay inside. Although...” He went back and forth in this vein for a while, before giving up and joining a thoroughly exasperated Kabuto at the kitchen table.

“Thanks for putting a shirt on before you went out,” the doctor said, in an attempt to fill the awkward silence which had settled on them.

Orochimaru made a noncommittal noise, glancing down at the maroon t-shirt he’d thrown on over a pair of black pants. He was still barefoot, of course.

“Clothes are more or less optional whether I’m from. But you seemed pretty adamant about it earlier.”

Kabuto nodded his agreement. He certainly hadn’t expected to wake up next to someone naked.

The memory of Orochimaru sprawled across his bed that morning collided in his head with Anko’s comments, and he suddenly found himself blushing.

“So,” he said, pretending to be fascinated with the tabletop. “What’s your world like? Can everyone shapeshift?”

“All humans can,” Orochimaru replied honestly. “Everyone retains traits of the animal they can change into, like it’s ears or tail. But some animals are just... animals.”

“Does that ever get confusing?”

“Not at all. My people can tell when an animal is a shapeshifter or not. It’s scent-based.” He leaned in suddenly and sniffed at Kabuto’s shirt collar, causing the man’s blush to worsen. “You smell different from my people. I don’t think we have anyone like you back home.”

Kabuto stood up from his chair, clearing his throat abruptly. “You’re sure you can’t remember how you got here? Were you using magic of some sort?”

Orochimaru leaned back and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well, I do have experience with that…”

Kabuto stifled a small noise of delight at this, his inner fantasy nerd cheering.

“But the last thing I can remember is-” He paused suddenly, a low growl emitting from his throat as the fur on his ears and tail stood up.

“What? What is it?”

 _“Kakashi,”_ he hissed venomously.

Kabuto blinked. “Friend of yours?”

 _“He’s the one who did this!”_ Orochimaru raged, standing from his chair so quickly that it toppled to the floor.

“...Oh.” Kabuto wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He watched closely as Orochimaru began pacing up and down the tile floor, seemingly talking to himself.

“Damn Uchiha brat… Saying I hexxed him… Kakashi believing it… It was probably that clumsy fox boy!”

Kabuto just nodded wordlessly.

“Still, if he’d planned to kill me, he’d have done it correctly… If he sent me to another world, something must have went wrong.” Orochimaru suddenly paused in his ministrations. “Kabuto!”

The other man jumped slightly at having been addressed. It occurred to him that Orochimaru hadn’t called him by name before - although clearly he was aware of what it was.

“I’m going to cast a spell, and I need you to bring me some items. Listen carefully and write this down!”

Kabuto found himself complying with the request, as if this were the natural order of things. “All right,” he said, grabbing a scrap piece of paper and a pen. “I’m listening.”

_oOo_

“Okay, I think that’s everything,” he said to himself, scanning down the handwritten list once more. Kabuto had to admit that he was curious to see what might happen.

As he headed for the check-out counter of the general store, he heard his name called out to him.

“Yo, Kabuto! How’s your date going?” It was Anko, sporting a large thermos of coffee and a bright grin.

Kabuto frowned. “Anko! You’re supposed to be covering for me at the clinic!”

“Relax, relax,” she said, waving her hands as if to physically push away his concerns. “I’m just on a coffee break. Besides, Suigetsu and Karin have things under control.”

Kabuto just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, if they’re not making out in the supply room again.”

Anko let out a low whistle. “Speaking of making out - damn, Kabuto! I never thought you’d be into the kinky stuff!”

 _“Excuse me?!”_ He balked, confused and taken aback.

“Look at everything you’ve got here!” Anko said, rummaging through the man’s shopping basket. “Knives, candles, incense, massage oil, _rope.”_ She held up the last item and wiggled it around for emphasis.

Kabuto made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, his face turning beet red. In all his excitement at the possibility of seeing magic happen, it hadn’t even occurred to him how it might look to buy all of these items at once.

“That’s not-! This isn’t-! I don’t-!”

Anko just smiled knowingly as the poor man tried desperately to string a sentence together.

“You just concentrate on gettin’ back to your date, buddy,” she said, with a salute of her thermos. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” With that, she turned and left the store, leaving a mortified Kabuto in her wake.

As he watched her leave, the man covered his face with his hands and groaned.

It was also common knowledge that Anko was the office gossip, and couldn’t keep her mouth shut to save her life.

 _Maybe Orochimaru can find Narnia in my closet. They’re hiring veterinarians, right?_

_oOo_

Orochimaru lit the incense with a match and placed one in each corner of Kabuto’s living room. He carefully arranged the unlit candles in a circle on the floor, each one tied to a piece of rope, which was in turn tied to the next candle. He placed a singular candle in the center of this arrangement, surrounded by a circle drawn with oil. Outside of that he placed the knives, each one standing upright with it’s blade pierced into the ground.

 _There goes my hardwood floor,_ Kabuto thought with a twinge of annoyance.

As he made his preparations for the spell, Orochimaru complained loudly about the reputation he had in his world.

“They think I’m some sort of- _Dark Lord_ or something!” he said, gesturing dramatically. “I swear, you kidnap a child _one time…”_

Kabuto’s face paled. “That’s actually a serious offense.”

“Yes, but _I let him go!”_ Orochimaru cried out, as if that absolved him of everything. “Besides, the boy has extra limbs now - he should be thanking me!”

Kabuto just stared at the other man in horror. In all his fantasies about magical realms, he’d never once considered that he might become a villain’s assistant.

If Orochimaru noticed Kabuto’s stricken expression, he didn’t comment on it. “All right, that should do it,” he said to himself, giving his work a last once-over.

“And you’re sure this will work?” Kabuto asked, suddenly a lot less optimistic about the whole thing.

“If all goes well, yes.”

Kabuto cringed. “Are there other possible outcomes?”

“Of course.” Orochimaru said, striking a fresh match to light the candles with. “There’s always the possibility that _nothing_ will happen.” He began to light each candle one by one. “Or that this world will collapse in on itself, crushing us both in an agonizing death.”

_“...What?!”_

“But there’s only a remote chance of that,” he assured, which did nothing to calm a panic-stricken Kabuto.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this-”

“Too late!” Orochimaru proclaimed, lighting the last candle and beginning a series of complex hand signs.

The room shook as if there were an earthquake, the force of the vibrations knocking Kabuto to the ground. Miraculously, Orochimaru stood standing while he murmured an incantation under his breath.

The doctor only had a moment to consider which language the spell reminded him of, before his eyes shut and he fell into unconsciousness.

_oOo_

When he awoke he found himself sprawled across a grassy meadow, surrounded by a border of tall trees. Groggily, Kabuto attempted to lift himself from the ground, but found that he simply didn’t have the strength to do so. Leaning back against the grass he tried to make sense of what had happened. Judging from the amount of daylight there was, quite some time had passed since Orochimaru cast his spell. But while he (thankfully!) hadn’t suffered an agonizing death, that was about all Kabuto knew.

“Hey Mister! You okay?”

The veterinarian managed to turn his head in the direction of the voice. He watched as a teenage boy wearing obscenely orange clothing came running towards him. As he got closer, Kabuto could also see that the boy had fox ears and a tail.

_Instead of opening a portal, did Orochimaru send **me** to his world?!_

The fox boy crouched down beside Kabuto, with sincere concern in his bright blue eyes. “Are you hurt?”

“I don’t know,” the silver-haired man admitted. “Can you see if I have any injuries?”

The boy quickly looked Kabuto up and down, searching for any blood or wounds. “No, you look fine.” He paused, sniffing the man’s shirt curiously. “But you smell funny.”

“Gee, thanks kid.”

“No no, not like that! You don’t smell _bad,_ just…” His brow wrinkled in confusion. “What’s your animal form, anyway?”

Before Kabuto could respond, they both heard another voice calling out from across the clearing.

“Oye, dobe! Break’s over! Kakashi wants us back on the training field.”

 _Kakashi… didn’t Orochimaru mention that name before?_ Kabuto tried to wrack his brain for details, but found that his memories were somewhat fuzzy.

“This weird guy might be hurt, teme! Get your ass over here and help me out!”

A second teenage boy came into view, this one less friendly looking than the first. His clothing consisted of neutral blues and grays, and Kabuto could see that he had the horns of a ram on his head.

As he approached the two of them, his facial expression only became more sour.

“What the hell did you do to him, Naruto?”

“I didn’t do anything!” the other boy - Naruto, apparently - exclaimed. “He was like this when I got here!”

“Hmm,” the boy with the horns said, crouching down next to his companion. He looked Kabuto up and down thoughtfully. “He doesn’t look hurt to me. Maybe he’s just drunk?”

“I’m not drunk!” Kabuto snapped. _Although this might all be easier to deal with if I were._ Much to his delight, he felt the strength suddenly return to his body, allowing him to stand up. “See, I can walk just fine!”

“Okay, then go home,” the moodier of the two boys said. “This idiot and I have training to do,” he added, gesturing in Naruto’s direction.

“Sasuke, that’s rude!”

“Well, you _are_ an idiot.”

“No, I mean it’s rude to just tell this guy to go home! He seems confused, we should help him out.”

As it looked like the boys might be about to start fighting each other, Kabuto quickly interjected. “Actually, there is one thing you can do to help me. I’m… a little lost, and I’m hoping that your friend Kakashi can give me directions.”

The boys’ offensive postures visibly relaxed, and they gazed intently at one another before seemingly reaching an unspoken agreement. “Okay,” they said to Kabuto in unison.

Kabuto thought he might get whiplash from how quickly the two changed attitudes towards each other. One minute he was sure someone was about to get punched, and now, as they led him to Kakashi, he could swear the boys were throwing longing looks at each other.

He vaguely wondered if it were just because they were young, or if everyone in this world were this quirky.


	3. It's a Cat-tastrophe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and feedback! ♥ It really means a lot to me. I'm sorry that it's taken a while for this chapter to come out, but I was experiencing some writer's block for a while that I think I'm past now. I appreciate your patience! ^_^;

As the three emerged from the outcropping of trees, they came upon a small village which was almost medieval in appearance. Kabuto noted that every person they passed had the ears and tails of an animal, a few with additional characteristics as well. It occurred to him that, from the types of animals he could identify, they all appeared to be mammalian. He wondered if that might have something to do with genetic compatibility - although given that magic existed in this world, he wasn’t sure if science even applied.

Kabuto also began to wonder if Orochimaru hadn’t been entirely truthful with him - so far, he hadn’t seen one person who wasn’t fully clothed. _Maybe he’s a nudist,_ Kabuto’s mind supplied helpfully, drawing on his memories of the previous morning. The doctor’s face flushed and he immediately tried to shake the thought from his head. No, there was _nothing_ attractive about the psychopath who had invaded his life. Kabuto _definitely_ wasn’t picturing running his hands through the other man’s silky hair, or clutching his smooth shoulders while looking up into his devious, smirking face as they -

“You okay, Weird Guy?” Naruto asked, noticing the other’s flustered expression.

“I’m fine,” Kabuto insisted, as Sasuke snickered at Naruto’s choice of nickname.

“Well, that’s good,” Naruto said, giving Sasuke a half-hearted shove. “Kakashi should be right here.” No sooner had the words left his mouth, than the trio arrived at a large training field, complete with obstacle courses and target practice.

“You’re late,” a man with wolf ears and a tail said. While the boys wore loose fitting trousers and shirts, this man was sporting a full set of regal-looking robes; Kabuto speculated that he must be of higher rank.

“You’re one to talk!” Naruto barked irritably. “You’re always getting ‘lost on the road of life’ or whatever!”

If the man - Kakashi, Kabuto guessed - was perturbed by his student’s outburst, he didn’t show it. Despite a black mask which covered most of his face, and a black eye patch over his left eye, his expression indicated that he’d dealt with a frazzled Naruto before - and simply didn’t give a shit.

He did approach Kabuto, however, looking the man up and down with his visible eye. “And who is this, exactly?”

“Dobe found him. Guy’s lost,” Sasuke offered with characteristic indifference. “Thought you might send him on his way.”

“I see,” Kakashi said thoughtfully. “And were one of you going to mention that he’s not from our world?”

_”What?!”_ the two boys cried in unison, the sudden exclamation causing Kabuto to wince.

Kakashi just sighed. “I thought you’d be able to pick up on it from his scent. I suppose I haven’t gone into detail with you about outsiders yet.”

“Could people please refrain from sniffing me?” Kabuto inquired, hopeful that the answer would be ‘yes.’

Kakashi ignored the question in favor of turning to his students. “I’ll need to find out more about our guest here. You two start running laps until I tell you to stop.”

Naruto whined and Sasuke huffed, but when their instructor shot them an imposing look with his right eye, they both took off running - literally.

“Now then,” Kakashi said, turning to Kabuto speculatively, “Who are you, and how on _earth_ did you get here?”

_oOo_

Opening his eyes with a groan, Orochimaru attempted to assess his surroundings. His body lay in an awkward, crumpled position against a solid floor, while midday light filtered in through a nearby window.

With a slight startle, he realized that he was still in Kabuto’s living room. But judging from the charred remnants of the portal spell, _someone_ had been transported, which meant -

_”God dammit!”_ he hissed, lifting himself from the floor with a wince.

Things had suddenly gotten a lot more complicated.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Curious at the unfamiliar sound, Orochimaru headed over to the door and pressed his nose against the glass. A woman stood outside carrying a large cup of coffee, and he recognized her as one of Kabuto’s co-workers.

_I know he said not to go outside, but he **didn’t** say anything about letting people in…_

With a mischievous smile, Orochimaru unlocked and opened the door.

“Anko,” he said, as she raised an eyebrow at having been addressed by name. “Please, do come in.”

_oOo_

“So you mean to tell me,” Iruka said, his brow creasing in frustration, “That even after you were _explicitly_ told not to use magic unsupervised, you went ahead and did just that?”

Naruto fidgeted in his seat awkwardly before softly replying “Yes.”

“And you,” Iruka continued, turning his attention towards Sasuke, “You lied about who had hexxed you?”

Sasuke grumbled inarticulately, but finally nodded when Iruka shot him a pointed look.

“Well, mystery solved then!” Kakashi piped in. “I guess that settles things.”

“Oh, does it now?” Iruka glared at his husband and gestured dramatically towards Kabuto. _“This_ looks settled to you?!”

Kabuto scratched the back of his neck nervously as an awkward silence filled the room. He never liked being present for these kinds of family quarrels, even if none of the ire was aimed at him.

The five of them were seated at Kakashi and Iruka’s kitchen table, discussing the events which had come to light. There had apparently been a misunderstanding which led to Kakashi confronting Orochimaru and blasting him into another dimension - albeit accidentally. Kabuto’s admiration for the magic users had decreased exponentially upon learning that _two_ magicians had made such large-scale mistakes.

Naruto and Sasuke were forbidden to use magic outside Kakashi’s supervision, but Naruto had gone ahead and placed a hex on Sasuke - no doubt after one of their many arguments. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been unable to undo the spell - which left Sasuke breathing fire, apparently - and they’d both gone to Kakashi for help. For whatever reason - although Kabuto had his suspicions regarding the supposed “platonic” relationship between the two - Sasuke had chosen to cover for Naruto, claiming that the local, ill-regarded misanthrope Orochimaru had hexxed him instead. Of course Kakashi had gone to confront the man about this, which resulted in him casting a spell that went awry.

According to Kakashi, when Orochimaru hadn’t been standing there after the smoke had cleared, he assumed he’d simply teleported - and was off tending to a hex of his own.

The rest was obvious to Kabuto from there.

Luckily, Kakashi’s husband Iruka had offered for Kabuto to stay with them until he could return home. So far, he appeared to be the most competent and understanding person Kabuto had met from this world - although definitely a force to be reckoned with when angry.

Kabuto noted that Iruka had the ears and tail of an otter, the latter of which was thumping in audible irritation against the chair he sat in, as the man sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“So where do we go from here?” Iruka finally asked.

“I’ll have to head to the archives and do some research,” Kakashi relented, his tone suggesting that he regarded that as a fate worse than death.

“We’ll help!” Naruto chimed in, clearly eager to remove himself from the situation.

_”’We’?!”_ Sasuke snapped, which earned him a swift kick from Naruto under the table. “Oww, what the hell, dobe?!”

“It’s the least we can do,” Naruto admitted, ignoring Sasuke’s protests and glancing at Iruka meaningfully.

“The very least,” Iruka agreed.

“We’ll be on our way then,” Kakashi announced, rising from his seat. Sasuke and Naruto bolted past him and out the door. Sheepishly, he glanced over his shoulder and made eye contact with Kabuto. “I... am sorry you’ve been caught up in all of this.”

“Thank you,” Kabuto replied, forcing a small smile.

Once it was just him and Iruka left, the other man turned towards him with a sincere look of apology. “I know your world must be very different from ours. If you’d like, I can show you around the village?”

“That would be great!” Kabuto accepted the offer with a genuine smile, this time.


End file.
